What is love?

Picture - Another love story by dhammza

Love. Defined by many definition, used in theories worldwide and stacked up with many standards.

Someone once ask what is love on twitter status. I replied “arguments, quarrel, fights, raising voices. = love.”

To a teenager under 15, love is by sight (esp boys) the craze over Justin Bieber’s head is a clear example. To teenagers above 15, it could be because “oh she’s so beautiful inside.” Well, of course there’s thousands and thousands of definition of love and there’s also that 5 love language theory (which I absolutely recommend you to read the book by Gary Chapman).

To some, love makes people weak. To some, love makes people strong. To me, it is a choice and you must do it because you chose it in the 1st place, now you got to carry it till death do you part.

When I started relationship with my then girlfriend. I made sure that I already see the end that is us walking out from the holy matrimony. Now that we already did that, my end is of course loving her till the end. Thankfully, she sees it that way. And it takes 2 hands to clap.

But unfortunately, no relationship is lovey dovey 24/7. And what you see in the movies, happens only in the movies. Many a times, and in Malaysia, you’ll see older couples do not love each other as much anymore. Or there was no love at all. I think it boils down to choice. Just like how your parents gave birth to you, they have no choice but to make sure you turn out right. Loving is the same.

And if we choose to love, we will make it till the end. Sure, there are times when you argue, fight but that does not mean love is not there. Sure, we do not look at our partner and have our heart beat twice as fast like we used to. Or jump up and down when we receive flowers. But love is still there, it just transformed into something else. It matures. It means to tell you that, Love grows root so deep in you that you can’t see it but you can feel it. 

I hope this serves as a time capsule to the me of future. I will not lose what I believe now.

These are some things we have no choice over. Just like how Jesus’ mission was the cross, Superman’s mission was saving the earth, Our mission is to love our partners till… we die.

Again, love is a choice. We need to actively choose it. The difficulties will be there like long distance relationship, he don’t know my heart, he don’t know what I want, we are both from different worlds, I don’t love him like I used to anymore, I am who I am you cannot change me, he is not what he used to be and all the excuses that we are oh too familiar with them will not matter when you actively choose to love. No. Matter. What.